Hey. I’m here. I’m alive. Yep. And the world is still one big dumpster fire. Be as it may, you got to have faith that things are going to work out, AKA trust the process.
So, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last six months. Trusting the process. Or trying to.
But what does that “trust the process” even mean? And I swear to God, every #girlboss has that on her Pinterest.
As overdone as it is, there’s something in it.
Let’s break it down, shall we?
Trust the Process- Let’s Talk About the Good Ol’ Patience
Right off the bat, I can’t give you the definition of “trusting the process”. I’m still figuring it out for myself. (That’s why you’re here too, right? To figure stuff out 😊)
Okay, to get back on track, let me tell you what I’ve realized about this whole trusting the process thing:
- It’s annoying as hell to wait for things to unfold without holding on to some kind of outcome.
- When something falls through, it sucks and you feel as you suck, too.
- When it works out, it doesn’t feel like fireworks.
- You think you’ll be happier if you achieve a certain goal, and if you don’t, you dismiss all the growth you’ve done along the way.
- It requires a ton of patience.
Yes, good ‘ol patience. You know how the old saying goes: Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Well, neither were you. Things take time. And things can’t be rushed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. But that’s the thing: you worry about the result before you’ve even crossed the finish line.
And whether you like it or not, timing is everything with most things in life. There’s a reason some things happen and others don’t. It’s not crazy to have faith that there’s meaning to all the mess.
Maybe you don’t need a reason at all. Maybe it’s all just BS. And this is cheesy as heck, but there it is: Life has a plan. And that plan is going to turn out to be exactly what you needed. And you’re going to be fine.
Trust me on that.
Raise Your Hand if You’re an Over-Achiever
Okay, enough with the cheesiness. Now we’re on my turf.
Who else is an achievement junkie? Uh, that sweet rush of accomplishment, right?
Yeah, that’s great, but have you ever felt what it means to work on something without worrying about external validation?
We all want to be admired for our hard work, but let me tell you: you’re going to be more confident as long as you don’t do it to prove yourself.
You’re not going to be happier if you get that one job, that one guy, the biggest cake bite.
Hey, you? Yeah, I’m talking to you (this especially goes for you, Lana). Stop right there. Listen to your goddamn body, your brain, your heart. The race to the next level- there’s a place for you on the top. There really is no top. It’s right where you are. Here and now.
Focus on your long-term goals, but don’t do it all at once. Build systems around your habits and routines.
Let’s say you never have time to call your parents. Pick an exact time in your crazy schedule for that daily check-in. On your way home from work, when you already have the phone in your hands.
See? Take one thing that happens every single day. Your commute, plus the phone in your hands, and make that phone call.
Nothing Is for Granted
Failure is proof you’re trying.
Everyone’s always talking about those who made it. Why don’t we talk about those who are trying and struggling to make it?
The high of getting there- well, it isn’t really that big. All the time you’ve spent working towards it, that’s where the magic happens. Where the ideas are born, where sparks are ignited.
Trusting the process, when you’re in the middle of it- in the moment of pain when you’re crying and screaming. That’s when the fireworks happen.
God, now this really looks like a Pinterest post but stick with me. Let’s look at babies. It’s not a great analogy but listen to me. Babies don’t give a shit. They fall, smile, and get back up. They have no idea what’s in store for them, but why should they care?
It’s going to suck, like 80% of the time. But you grow from it. Or you don’t. Nobody can make you do it. You can choose how you respond to all the suckiness.
I usually use the “screaming into my pillow technique.” And then I go on about my day.
Your life is one long sequence of haps and mishaps. You become resilient and strong. You stop hurting yourself. You stop fighting it. You embrace the new you. You bid farewell to the old you. Every single day.
There you have it. That is the secret. That’s how you trust. You say:
I’m learning and that’s okay.
(I stole this gem from a brilliant song by the Humming House, appropriately named “Change Comes Slow”).
So You Think You’ve Got It All Under Control?
Yeah, right (laughs). I find it particularly amusing when people assume I’m so well put together.
I’m not, not really. I’m just flexible around life. I may not fully understand it. I still set expectations for myself every day. But I let life surprise me. I trust the process of life (I hate this quote, but I love the series of moments that have led me to where I am today).
Life happens in spite of your wishes, plans, roadmaps… And I know I can’t speak for everyone, but if you’re questing everything right now…
Just you wait. [go ahead, insert your own clichéd quote here]
Photo by Anna Claire Schellenberg on Unsplash
